My glucose test came back. I knew I wasn't going to pass, but it still stinks to have it confirmed. After a good cry, I think I better get it together and make sure I'm doing things right. I hate this disease, but at least for me, it is only short term. The thing that stinks is that I have to now eat differently my whole life. With family history and now having gestational diabetes twice, my chances of type II diabetes have just dramatically increased. Prevention through exercise and diet is truly my only option. And this means, that I cannot go back to eating cookies and cakes and pasta whenever I want. I know that this is somehow a blessing in disguise, but right now, it just stinks!
I hate poking my fingers to take blood 4-6 times a day. I hate giving up my favorite foods, (like potatoes). I hate not eating when I'm hungry because my sugars are high. I hate eating when I'm not hungry because my sugars are low.
But more than those things, I would hate to miss my grand-children's weddings because I didn't take care of myself and was too sick to go. I would hate to lose my vision because I refused to take the necessary steps to watch my diet. I hate all the what ifs, but because I live at a time when I can be tested and treated, the what ifs aren't as likely. I love that.
So I have diabetes, and it stinks. I don't want it, but I am not going to bury my head in the sand. I am going to buy brown rice. I am going to find some new vegetables to try. I am going to keep running and exercising. And I am probably going to cry a little more. But I won't feel sorry for myself for too long. It could be much much worse. Instead it's only a little worse.
I'm sorry Rochelle (((hugs))).
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear this Rochelle....
ReplyDeleteDo you know for sure if you'll have diabetes after your pregnancy is over?
No, I won't have it, the minute I give birth. However, it increases my chances of type II diabetes by something like 70%.
DeleteSweet lovely Rochelle - I adore you and hope that you get this under control soon. I am sorry that you are in this situation. Please know my prayers and thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteJill Peterson
Thank you. :) It was, of course, the day. :( However, today is a new day, and I am ready to approach this cheerfully now. Thank you for your prayers. :)
DeleteThat really sucks! But, on the bright side, you are helping me so much with this blog. So when you start to get frustrated and angry just think of me and know that it is serving at least that one small purpose.
ReplyDeleteI cried myself to sleep last night because I just feel like I'm working so hard and not seeing any changes. But yesterday I ate like you and woke up a pound lighter and for the first time in 2 weeks I actually felt a little bit of hope that maybe I can do this.
Hang in there! And don't pin the sweet stuff on pinterest (it's evil LOL!)
You made me feel better. I don't like that you had such a bad night. However, I am glad this blog is helping. I don't normally lay these things out in the open like this. I generally keep things, especially health things, to myself and maybe I would mention it to friends. But I definitely wouldn't have put it on facebook or in a blog before. But I think this blog is helping me to stay on track. It would be so easy to give up, and eat what I want and go on insulin pills. But diet and exercise is better - so this is a good thing. I'm glad to know this can help others too. :)
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